To Veil or not to Veil?

Some brides immediately know they want to wear one, and others say no way.  But there is something about trying on a wedding gown and then adding the veil to complete the look…it can change everything.

“Veils were once thought to hide brides from evil spirits and were often opaque. Most modern veils are sheer and often serve to accent or highlight a bride’s beauty than hide it. The vintage trend has popularized the short birdcage veil and many brides are still influenced by Kate Middleton’s wedding style, which has made veils a hot hair accessory,” said media contact Harper Butler.

1. Match it to Your Hairstyle Veils can be worn with any hairstyle, but the placement of the veil varies depending on how the hair is arranged. The wedding veil can be worn in three places: on the top of the head, on the back of the head, or under the wedding hair updo. Brides-to-be should bring their veil to their hairdresser during the hair and makeup run to decide the best placement.

2. Highlight Detailing in Your Dress The length and material of the veil can be used to highlight certain parts of the wedding dress. The eye is drawn to the point where the veil ends. For example, a short shoulder length veil is ideal for accenting an elaborate neckline. If a dress has lace or detailed embroidery, a plain sheer veil may show the dress at its best advantage.

3. Opposites Do Attract The veil choice also depends on the style and the level of decoration of the wedding gown. In general, an elaborate veil makes a gorgeous statement piece when paired with simple wedding gown. However if the dress is very detailed, a simple veil lets the eye focus on the wedding gown. Only the most formal of weddings are able to accommodate the combination of both an elaborate dress and veil.

4. Match Theme The wedding veil should also fit into the general wedding theme. There’s the classic style, where the décor and dress is formal, symmetrical and. Longer veils are perceived as more formal. The romantic style is much softer and usually includes lots of attention to detail. A lace edged veil creates an interesting contrast of textures. The modern style is more understated and free of extraneous details.

5. Accessories Wedding veils are often just one component of the hair. Common accessories include flowers, jeweled pins, feathers, fascinators, and tiaras. To avoid too many elements competing with each other, elaborate accessories are often paired with simpler hairstyles. Many brides choose to combine the veil and accessory into one piece so that it’s easier to wear and creates an overall sleeker look.

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Is planning the wedding going to split you up?

He’s popped the question, a sparkly new ring adorns your finger and you’ve begun turning your dreams into actual wedding plans.

And then you start having some of your worst arguments ever.

He wants the best groomsman to be his old friend from college. The problem? You can’t stand him. And  you know he’d plan a bachelor party that would make “The Hangover” look like a nursery school outing.

It happens, believe me. My best girlfriend glided up the aisle on her wedding day to be greeted by her fiancé sporting two enormous black eyes — the result of an impromptu soccer game organized by the best groomsman the night before. (Let’s say that their wedding photographs didn’t turn out exactly as she was hoping.)

And then there’s the guest list. You’re both contributing to the wedding so you think it should be split 50/50. But his family is much bigger than yours and he wants them all to come. So what do you do?

I recently heard about a girl who had only just gotten engaged when her future mother-in-law announced that she was going to accompany her when she went wedding dress shopping. After all, this girl was ‘taking her own precious son away’ and so she wanted to ‘be involved’ in the Big Day and decisions.

Another story I heard via my friend Sally was about her cousin, who wanted all the groomsmen to wear cravats and vests to tie in with her bridesmaids’ frocks and carefully-considered color theme. Her husband-to-be flatly refused, making it clear he had his own ideas about how he and his friends should dress.

Oh dear. Plenty of room for conflict here. Well, planning your wedding is stressful. Don’t worry if you have some fights in the build-up to your day. It’s very common amongst couples and the good thing is that you’re communicating.

So, what do you do?

First off, don’t expect your groom to get as obsessed as you are over the flowers, cakes and table decorations that you are choosing. If he’s not really interested, then that’s fine and you do things just the way you like them.

When my sister got married, I don’t even think her husband noticed her bouquet! However, he wanted to take over the whole responsibility of choosing the food and wines for the reception. He did, and did a fabulous job of it, too.

Another male friend who got married said that all he was interested in was sorting out the music at the service and the wedding party afterwards. As he teaches music in school, he knew exactly what he was doing and had the dance floor busy until the wee hours.

The key is recognizing the stuff each partner is best at and delegating!

So you don’t like his best groomsman? Well, he might not be so keen on your maid of honor either. So accept your differences, trust the best groomsman to bring your fiancé back intact or tacitly agree to ask different people. Maybe his brother, maybe your sister?

Now about your future mother-in-law and wedding dresses. If you really don’t want to take her wedding dress shopping then that’s okay. But she’s going to be a potential ally to you in future years, especially if you have children, so try to get her involved in some aspect of the wedding planning if she wants to be. Does she have any particular talents? If she has beautiful handwriting maybe she could help with the table settings or wedding invitations.

Alison Tinlin, wedding planner at Plans & Presents, suggests going accessory shopping together, which is likely to be less stressful. Your ma-in-law would probably love the fact that she helped you choose your tiara or bridal shoes.

And what about the guest list?

If your other half has the bigger family then it’s really fair to let him invite a greater proportion of guests. But Tinlin advises: “It used to be that the bride’s parents put money towards the wedding — now the bride and groom increasingly pay for their own day. How much each person puts into the marriage pot has to be firmly based on what they earn and can afford.”

Remember the caterers’ rule that 10 percent of those invited usually won’t be able to come anyway. And be strict about inviting casual girlfriends and boyfriends. If somebody doesn’t have a serious partner, do they really need to bring anybody?

I asked bridal guru Michele Paradis of The Bridal Coach for her hints to couples on avoiding arguments in the build-up to the wedding.

“The best way to decompress the anxiety around wedding planning is to designate one day a week as a wedding-free zone and don’t talk about it. Your fiancé, friends and family love you but even they need a break from the wedding planning!”

So, my advice to you? Expect some disagreements to explode when you’re planning your wedding. You want to have the perfect day but don’t let the stress get to a boiling point. Discuss your differences, accept that you’ll have to make some compromises but most of all, make sure you keep talking!

Remember ultimately what the day is all about — the lifetime of love you two share for each other.